Life Isn't an Algebraic Equation

It's a statistical one.

So everybody is talking about this "phenomenon" called The Secret. Basically, the concept is that if you think positively, good things will come to you. I have big long ragey rant about what the logistical extension to this says about people who get cancer, live through sexual abuse, or live in poverty, but I am not going to go through that whole thing now. What I want to address is the response I get from Secret fans when I ask that question.

"Well, I mean, I don't agree with that stuff either -- some things you can't control. I mean, it's life, right?"

Right. So what you're saying is that life doesn't come down to the linear equation.

y = mx + b

The Secret implies that life satisfaction (y) is a result of some variation of b (where you cross the x axis, presumably some standard level of satisfaction) added to some m (slope term) multiplied by x, which is presumably your level of positivity. As you increase your positivity from x to x+1, that level faces its multiplier (m) and increases your life satisfaction (y).

But where on earth is the term that addresses the chance inherent to our existence?

y = B0 + B1x1 + B2x2 + ... + Bixi + e

(Pretend those Bs are beta symbols and the numbers and is are subscripted.)

Here we can continue to believe that y is life satisfaction, and B0 is our b from the linear equation above. Our y isn't purely a result of the x that was positivity, but instead a result of a gazillion x terms, their multipliers, and -- most important of all -- the error term.

The x terms take into account actual abilities. As much as I think positively about it, I will never be an Olympic athlete. And you know what? I don't believe for a split second that I ever could have been one, had I even started training at three years old. My body isn't built for such things. This is simply fact of my existence. Along the same lines, there are people who don't have that built in ear that lets them become incredible musicians, some people don't have the minds for astrophysics, and others aren't genetically created to live to 100. None of these are slights against individuals without these abilities. It's reality. No matter how much someone may say that "YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU DREAM!" that simply is not true. (This annoyance is the foundation of what I like to call American Idol syndrome - god forbid people be honest with each other and themselves and just admit that they aren't good at everything.) Nor is it pessimistic -- it's reality.

The error term is what allows for chance. Who can say why someone is brutally murdered by a stranger? Wrong place, wrong time? Who can say why someone else wins the lottery? Right place, right time? That's the error term. That's what the whole thing forgets.

Here's the real thing of it: The Secret is utter rubbish. There is absolutely no scientific evidence that supports their assertion that our thoughts affect frequencies we send out into the world. It's no surprise that it was inspired by a book called The Science of Getting Rich. It reeks of materialism and greed and -- to be frank -- profound laziness. There is no easy answer to getting what you want out of life. It requires effort and planning and risks.

Ultimately, being a good person isn't about getting things back. Life isn't about dollars and perfect mates and dream jobs. It's about finding satisfaction in the the ordinary.